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I'm probably going to hate myself for talking on tumblr, but fuck it.

(On a tangent to that, where it conflates with issues in fandom, the ageist shit is starting to really irk me. I am not magically some Entirely Different Species after some arbitrary age. I like the same stuff I did when I was thirty, and twenty, and yes, even sixteen. Being over 40 doesn't make me some stereotype to be feared, laughed at, mocked, etc - it makes me the same person I've always been with more life experience. GO FIGURE.)

Had a call from the house owner on tuesday evening, wherein she assured me that she had researched all angles on her end, the county safety zoning etc assured her that the downstairs is up to code, and *I* needed to go back to the assessor and contest the assessment because it's in my name.

I nearly snarled at her. I didn't, but I was biting my tongue. Why the hell is it MY job to make HER house assess for what she wants to sell it at?

So I dutifully went back to the assessor, who hadn't replied to my previous inquiries, repeating the query for clarification but being a bit snippier about it because they'd blown me off for the last week. Got a prompt repeat of the first answer - I need written permission from the bank to talk to them. No, I tell them, as I told them before, I spoke to the bank and they said I didn't need written permission because I am no longer working with that bank and *I* am the one listed on that assessment and who paid for the fucking thing.

FINALLY got a call from the actual assessor, who told me that no, the bank is wrong, he is not allowed to discuss details with me by law without that written permission. I don't honestly care who's confused or lying at this point (though obviously SOMEONE is), I'm just pissed off and frustrated. Remained professional on the phone to him, however, and DID manage to get him to say this - if there is ANY earth mounded up against the side of the house, it HAS to be zoned as a basement, according to Fannie Mae rules. So the county/state/safety/tax zoning means NOTHING - it's down to the rules set by the biggest loaner that all the banks go through, and that's that, period, end of story. No bank or assessor is going to come up with any different answer, because the ground floor is set between 12"-18" into the earth on three sides.

THIS IS WHAT I'VE BEEN TELLING THE OWNERS but omg they just refuse to hear it. It must be something else. It must be the assessor's fault, he must be incompetent, blah blah blah. NO, IT'S THE RULE OF THE FEDERAL NATIONAL MORTGAGE ASSOCIATION.

I texted that back to the owners. Have yet to hear from them.

In the meantime, had a long talk with the wife, and yesterday, being still angry and frustrated and fed up with the whole thing, I went onto Zillow.com and found a nice house just down the road a bit. Smaller listed square footage, but it has a basement and I bet that's not being included in the footage count. Also, storage attic. 1 acre, not 2, but really, that's just less grass to mow. Deck, HUGE kitchen (room for an island and 2 baking racks in the pictures, plus separate stovetop/oven which I've always wanted an oven set up in the wall so I don't have to practically climb into it to get pans in and out). Above ground pool in the back, which I'm betting has a pad under it and hopefully power run out to it, and could be converted to a hot tub instead.

Put my info in on Zillow, and within an hour I was talking to a local lender who's just down the way from our grocery store, who assured me I could call him day or night, or weekends, he will always answer. Then the realtor called me and he and the lender have worked together for years, always try to get the sellers to pay closing costs, and now I'm pre-approved for $189k on a USDA loan and we have an appointment early saturday morning to go look at the house, and then I'll ask if they have any other properties in the area they can recommend that maybe aren't listed on Zillow.

I am LOLing because when I told the new lender that I'd been struggling with buying the house we're in right now, and how it was a private sale, he was just "ooooooh, the horror stories I could tell you.... every time I see a 'for sale by owner' sign it's because they're too cheap to hire a realtor and they want more for the house than it can be assessed at." DINGDINGDING - YES, thank you, that's precisely it. The owners should have had the assessment done before they offered to sell it to me. They could have gotten all their answers directly from the assessor THEN. And we've repeatedly suggested they might want to hire a realtor, but it's like it goes in one ear and out the other, they don't even acknowledge it.

I'm a little sad, because we really like the house we're in, but this runaround is getting old and I'm not going through round three just for the same damned answers. I've spent enough on bank fees and assessors and inspections already, and gotten nowhere. Time to start looking elsewhere because we don't want to rent, we want somewhere that's OURS.

(And now my biggest concern, in the event of moving, is how to take apart the 6'x6' Ikea Kallax shelf that holds all the books. Fortunately it's all screw and peg construction, so I think just remove screws and tap it apart? Eeek.)